I used to love Christmas. I don’t anymore and this year it was stolen from me. My late husband’s brother invited two of my three sons to join them for Christmas in San Diego without my knowledge. Not that they would spend it with me, but knowing I was not invited and my third son was not invited, hurt. I am happy that they will get together but so sad that they did not bother to even let me know, so hurt my feelings.
What is Christmas? Is it about love? Is it about family? Anymore, I don’t know what it is about. My husband’s family decided they hated me this last year for reasons I will never really understand, so we don’t have them coming for Christmas. I feel the love is gone for the holidays. I feel I have lost my family for the holidays. I am so sad for the holidays and they no longer exist for me.
I have the fun minions in the driveway, the decorated tree in the house and presents under the tree for part of the family, but the joy of Christmas is gone for me.
As you grow older, are you the forgotten part of Christmas? Do your children no longer care about you at Christmas? Where is the Christ in Christmas? It is gone. I feel more alone tonight, on Christmas Eve than I have felt in years. I have one son coming tomorrow for Christmas dinner, but the other two can’t bother. I turned off my cell phone because I don’t want to be disappointed that no one will call.
I hope you are happier than I am on Christmas. For me, it is one of the saddest days of the years.
Diana this broke my heart! I too had a disappointment at Thanksgiving but still have hope. I’m not with either of my children this year but still have hope. That’s what Christmas is about! Hope is born in Jesus! Times change. Phases come and go. Maybe this time represents the quietness of the stable for you. A lowly place and less desirable than you’d like. But from this time will grow a beauty and promise of better times to come. Hope. And I’ll be praying for an awakening. That your love will shine so bright that the warmth will draw others to it! I have enjoyed our time together and look forward to a new year of more laughs and support! Merry Christmas! 🎄
So sad to hear this Diana! Especially you 2 sons who should have know to at least tell you about their plans ahead of time.
For years I worked every Christmas, and then when I could make it home, they had dinner before I could get there. I didn’t count because I was only Me – one person, no kids. Now that my mother is gone, Christmas is just not the same. My younger brother has kids and grandkids, but they all hate liberals, so It is not really joyful for me to visit them.
This year, I am just getting over a cold and working all week long, so I decided to stay home, but I did go to the late service at our little church. I really loved singing all of the carols and seeing people who do care about me. I had skipped church for years, since I worked every Sunday, but my aunt and godmother suggested that I go back after my mother died, and I had been laid off from work. It does give me a sense of community, and a 2nd family of people of all ages. I have taken some of them kayaking, and gone horseback riding with another.
Not having a family of my own, I have had to reach out to make more connections: I substitute at the library, I am on the Board of Friends of Healdsburg Library, I go to sit and stitch Thurs eve and Sun afternoon at our local yarn shop, and I have a Tues Nite textile group too. Then there are my kayaking friends that I met on Meetup, and sometimes I go hiking with another group on Meetup – the Senior walking group. These groups have all introduced me to many more people help keep me connected.
Also – since I have hiked the John Muir Trail solo, I have learned to be at peace being alone. I still feel hurt that my younger brother’s family doesn’t appreciate me – but I am learning to let go of that expectation.