As we grow older we realize the beautiful and expensive things we have collected over a lifetime are not important to anyone in our family but ourselves. It seems the times of collecting fine china, crystal and silver belong in their dark ages. The time in life when we entertained more lavishly is gone. Our family will not enjoy our collections and will sell them or donate them (not knowing the value) after we die. I have found in my personal life that not only do my step-children not value or respect what I have, but they resent that I have it at all and cannot understand why I have not sold it.
So surprise to you all, I am not waiting to die, so they can have it. I worked hard to earn the money to buy what I have and now, or received them as gifts from loved ones, and I am going to be listing it all on Ebay, Replacements ,Amazon or with an auction house and take a nice cruise with what I may earn. (maybe take two cruises)
I bought these gorgeous, (no longer made) wine glasses when I worked at Macy’s, then The Bon Marche. I would buy them two at a time when I had a good sales month in the Interior Design Studio I managed within the store. Back then they were $160.00 each on sale with my manager’s discount. I used to love purple and now after it being my favorite color for twenty years I don’t really even like it. So almost twenty years ago I was still entertaining and setting a beautiful table. Today, some nicely stemmed Reidel wine glasses take their place on the table. These ten perfect glasses will be on sale soon.
These two beautiful Waterford Scotch Glasses were a gift from a good friend many years ago. At the time they sold for over $250 as they were a special edition one year and never offered again. My stepson took one of them to the beach and has never forgiven me for asking him not to take them for drinking booze on the beach. He will never understand that they were a gift from someone special in my life. He never thought to ask why they were special to me. He didn’t think to ask if they friend were still alive or if they died. His older sister just thinks it is stupid to keep something this valuable. Life memories that involve an object rather than a sailing trip do not register to her. It is funny that neither of them asked why I only had two? So guess what guys, they will be on the market too!
These four tiny cordial glasses made by Waterford were a wedding present to my late husband and I in 1976 from one of his partners and our good friends at Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher. I love the feel of them, the texture of them, the joy of putting something wonderful in them and enjoying every last sip. The memory of receiving such a lovely wedding gift always made me smile in the past, but now knowing the resentment they brought me, just by keeping something I cherish I can’t look at them ever again, and they will be sold soon.
These smaller Waterford Brandy glasses were another 1976 Wedding gift and have been lovingly cared for and used for over 45 years. I am not really sure how I feel about someone coming into my home and my treasures and treating me badly because they do not believe in collecting anything. My own son’s know the history and respect it, but my new family never asked. They assume I am a bad person because I have nice things and want to keep them nice. Is that a crime? Is it a crime that I do not want them used at the beach or around the fire pit. I have safely used them in the house for a very long time.
Now I do have a little Mesena Baccarat which is from a terrible marriage that last three months and for Heaven’s Sake I should have gotten rid of those many years ago. It is soaking right now, as it is dusty from not being used in so long.
In reality, this is what I would love to do to all the collections I have proudly collected, but I am realist. These are no longer popular and damn it felt GREAT to throw them in the garbage and hear the glass shatter. I started laughing at what I had done and did not feel an iota of guilt. Looking at the shards of glass I had the passing thought, that life has harsh edges and we can hide it in a glass of wine, but it is still there. It did my soul good.
No one in life should make you feel bad about what you have, what you like, what you nurture, what you care about and what you don’t want or need to share with them.
No one should ever think that what you have is automatically theirs or theirs to use. What happened to asking permission?
The home I live in now with my husband is not a “Family Home” although I was recently told it was. No family grew up in this house, nor is it that “lake cabin” where you went every summer. A family home is one where the family grew up in or went to every summer or winter. Ours is a home where I personally bought waterfront land, designed and built a home to live in, in any manner I chose. My sons family home was sold many years ago. It was a beautiful designed for my sons to grow up in and hopefully remember their father.
Grown children are welcome to come if they can abide by three or four rules. If they cannot, they do not need to visit. It is sad to me that some grown children (not mine) think they have the right to come in to a house now shared with a wonderful man and think their rules (or lack thereof) apply to our house. It just isn’t so.