In our busy world, we seldom take time for ourselves. We keep busy working and taking care of others. Once in a while it is good to step back and enjoy our surroundings. Where we live in the Pacific Northwest we are surrounded by the beauty of nature. At this point in my life I live in a cottage I personally designed and built on a quiet cove, near a quiet town with limited traffic sounds in the distance.
This summer my husband with the help of two sons, built a deck about twenty feet from the edge of the water. The fire pit in the middle keeps you warm for conversation in the evenings. This summer fires burned often and conversations continued till close to dawn. I will have to admit I did not take part in the late night gatherings, but was glad for the hum of family and friends enjoying the beach.
The other night with guests galore in the house I found myself with the only room available being our living room. I was reading a book, but was not in the mood for what I was reading. I looked out at the beach and noticed no one was around. I grabbed a bottle of champagne, a glass, my down coat and walked by myself to the beach and the new deck.
It was a glorious early evening with lights still dancing on the water and a group of geese floating nearby on the water. In the early evening there was little traffic, the park across the water was empty as it was dusk. Opening the champagne, not in celebration but in “Oh My God, I need a drink” after the week that was still happening, I sat and decided I was the only one that could make and keep myself happy. We all determine our own self worth, how we view the world and how we feel about who we are. No one but you can do that.
Like a copper tea pot, others can abuse you, put dents in your soft exterior, overheat you till you are no longer the beautiful copper you once were, but unless they put holes in your body, you can still make a great cup of tea.
As the sun set further and the chill of the night set in, I sat in quiet reverence enjoying the time by myself. I was saddened by the events of the last few days, but knew it was still a lovely place to live. Harsh words could not take that away from me. I had worked hard all my life to finally be able to live on a beach where I could easily put sand between my toes. I had done it on my own as a single mother. I no longer needed or wanted what I had in past and am content in my here and now. At some point in time taxes and life will take away this spot in the world that is mine to enjoy for the moment. When that time comes I will try to remember this moment in time when all was well with the world, the champagne was cold and I was content to not answer to anyone.
Look for that space in your life. As a child I had a special walnut tree in our orchard where I would climb and sit and dream about the future. Now I am content to sit and wonder where life will take me next.